Accepting Reality

May 03, 2018

An excerpt from my book, Let Your Heart Out, released March 2018:

In every romance novel, movie, musical or play, there is the priceless moment where the beautiful ingénue and the dashing prince meet for the first time. In the theater world, it’s call your “meet cute.” For entertainment, this word says it all. Meeting a crush or a handsome man is usually cute. There’s some flirting involved. If it’s a Danielle Steel novel, there’s likely third-base action in the first meeting.  Sparing all the lush details, there is always positive vibes. Unless of course it’s the “can’t-stand-you-but-then-I-fall-in-love-with-you” diatribe. And then, the meet cute is still, well, cute, because we love the great friction that comes from a more “real life” meeting.

Is it real life though? Sadly, if Hollywood or romance novelists actually talked about real life, they would only get a yawn and negative reviews because it...

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Following God's Calling for Your Life

Apr 03, 2018

The shrink's couch has been dubbed a sacred place.

From the Freudian days to modern times, seeing a therapist is frought with many conflicting emotions, thoughts and feelings. I'm sure none of us dream of seeing a psychiatrist or therapist in our lifetime. If we grew up in traditional environments, there may even be significant shame or guilt attached to "having to see" a therapist. 

I know that by the time people come to see me, they have done everything in their power to "heal themselves." And they are desperate. They are warriors.

People come and share their darkest, scariest, and most shameful thoughts. Thoughts often not shared with anyone else in their lives. Maybe ever.

The work that happens in session with me is truly miraculous, but it is not because of me.  I'm not a magician. I don't have extra special powers. Interestingly enough, I am usually just the instrument that helps play the melody that's already within my patients and clients.

For the record, I fully...

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The Fear of Food in Motherhood

Mar 29, 2018

Supermom Series Guest Posts

By Melodye Phillips

Being a mother is one of the greatest joys of my life. Motherhood is amazing. But motherhood is hard. All of it is hard, but in our culture one of the most difficult areas of motherhood is centered around feeding our children.

It starts from day one.

Breast feed or formula?

Purees or baby led weaning?

Homemade baby food or store bought?

Organic or non-organic?

Processed or whole?

The decisions go on and on and on (and that doesn’t even include the stress around legitimate food allergies.) So you step into an area of motherhood (like many others) that is fraught with judgment, shame, insecurity, anxiety, fear, arrogance, pride. 

If we allow ourselves to step out of the frenzy of our thoughts, emotions and expectations around feeding our little ones, we give ourselves permission to become curious instead of judgmental and shameful and fearful. And then we can begin to explore the core of this chaos around food. In this...

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What does Beauty Really Mean?

Mar 01, 2018

In this month's segment for The New-Fashioned Mom, where real moms share the unfiltered truths on life, I presented on the theme of Beauty.  I answered the questions:

  • What is your definition of beauty?
  • What do you wish you knew about beauty growing up?
  • What do you hope to pass on to your children about beauty?
  • As an influencer, what message do you want to spread?

For my full Facebook live addressing this topic, click here. I highly recommend the video. :-) 

Below is an abridged transcript for the video. 

Hello and welcome to Day 3 of the brand new monthly segment called, The New-Fashioned Mom, where real moms share the unfiltered truths on life.  I’m grateful for the opportunity to present this month on the theme of Beauty.  In this video, I’m going to share with you:

  • My definition of beauty
  • What I wish I knew about beauty growing up
  • What I hope to pass on to my children about beauty
  • What message I want to spread as an influencer

Before I...

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What is Anxiety?

Feb 27, 2018

Anxiety has become a catchy buzz word these days. Everyone seems to "have anxiety." What does that even mean? Anxiety is the most common mental illness worldwide and most common in women as well.  It affects more than 4 million Americans each year and often is a lifelong struggle for individuals. Given the right tools, it's also one of the easiest mental illnesses to treat... even without medication. But let's get on the same page about WHAT exactly is anxiety. 

As a doctor who was trained in medical school, I think of diseases by the biopsychosocial model meaning that for any given disease, including mental illness, you look at the biological factors, the psychological factors, and the social factors.

Biological Factors

Biologically speaking, anxiety is, first and foremost, a physical feeling within your body. According to the research of Antonio Damasio, famous neuroscientist and creator of the somatic marker hypothesis, he proved that every...

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Selfies to Improve Body Image: Friend or Foe?

Feb 13, 2018

It seems that everyone has an opinion on selfies these days. Some people love them, others hate them. Our fitness-fanatical society biases our minds to believe that selfies are those half naked photos of before/ after transformation photos or bodybuilding competition photos. With this skewed vision, it's easy to feel unworthy anytime we glance a view of our less-than-airbrushed, perfectly-ordinary selves. 

Nonetheless, the issue of selfies, body checking, and mirror exposure arise with my patients and clients. Should I look at myself? Should I take more selfies? (I mean, selfies did initially begin in an effort to help one girl gain more confidence with photos of herself.) Or the flip, how can avoid mirrors and photographs? Will I ever like what I see in the mirror or a photograph? So, I figured I should settle things with a few points of my own.

1. Selfies may improve your confidence. 

Most women I work with have highly charged negative emotions around their appearance....

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What to Do When Someone's Words Hurt You

Feb 06, 2018

Whoever said sticks and stones can break your bones but words can never hurt you has never actually had any painful words spoken to them before.

We all experience painful words a time or two whether it’s like real true bullying or abuse or just like really painful, hurtful words, we all go through it. I want to give you some steps to help you go past it so you don’t keep holding a grudge or resentment against people in your life because possibly these are the people that love you the most. Here are 5 steps to help you overcome those painful, hurtful words that people tell us.

1. Pause and acknowledge your emotions.

This may seem super basic but I want you to actually experience those emotions that you have. If someone said something really mean to you, be sad. If you are angry about what somebody said, be angry. Allow yourself to embrace those emotions.

We tend to suppress our emotions so often and then we avoid feeling those feelings by doing things like...

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How to Beat the Winter Blues

Feb 03, 2018

After the holiday rush ends, we’re left with the cold, dark of winter. Even in Texas, where things usually don’t get too cold, this time of year can be difficult. Being cooped up inside with bickering kids and grumpy spouses can make anyone get cabin fever. The cold winter months are enough to make even the most optimistic amongst us feel…well, dark and dreary.

Let me share with you my tips for beating the winter blues.

1. Get outside any chance you get.

The Scandinavians have a saying that "there’s no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothes." While there are definitely days that put this theory to the test, growing up in Colorado, I can attest to the wonder of quality winter clothing.

My mother was a single mother who raised me on a teacher’s salary, so quality was something that was not always easily acquired. Thankfully, it taught me some frugal tips that I can now happily share with everyone else!

2. Find cheap clothes to stay warm.


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