There comes a time when you realize that you can't continue on the way you once did. You realize that calories, food, and exercise are ruining your life and you want off the high speed train to Nowheresville.
You mentally understand that this behavior isn't and hasn't ever served you and you are ready to change. You are ready to make peace with food. The mountain though that I think so many people struggle with isn't necessarily just the food piece, it's the body piece, and it can be quite a climb.
You know you have to make changes with your food, BUT there seems to be a piece to this that you are afraid of...weight gain.
It's scary, I get it... BUT there has to be a moment of realization where you are making peace with the idea that the outcome of this journey could lead to weight gain. There has to be that moment of realization and acceptance that there is a possibility that you were genetically predisposed for a larger body, and in order to heal, you MUST make peace with...
If I had a dollar for every time a patient asked me to "fix them," I'd be a wealthy woman...or I'd at least have my student loans paid off. But really, jokes aside, this is a common misconception.
To be quite frank, the reason therapy can not "fix" you, is because real change is a mindset that YOU have to have. I can guide you there, but you have to first take accountability for your role in your life, and second you have to truly want to change.
When you place the power on someone or something outside of yourself, you will never transform on the inside. Sure, you may temporarily improve external or superficial things for a moment in time, but no real and lasting improvements will take place until you take responsibility.
I know firsthand how difficult it is to not harbor resentment, anger, or painful emotions toward others who have impacted your life. I'm not telling you to abandon these emotions. It's important to feel these feelings. In fact, without allowing yourself...
I’ve never had the societal and cultural pressures to change parts of myself that I had no control over… until I realized what little control I had over my weight.
While I’ve always felt pretty, I’ve never felt thin enough. A competitive gymnast growing up, I related my body with a score. I literally would be given a numerical value based on what I looked like. We could say that the score came from how my body performed certain acrobatics and routines, but when you see enough girls with smaller bodies score higher with poor form, you realize the fallacy. And there began the belief that the size and shape of my body determined my self-worth.
It didn’t matter that I was a straight A honors student, an accomplished athlete, a gifted musician, a spiritually grounded person, a service-oriented individual, or a hard worker. If I couldn’t manipulate my body into the ideal standard, I was still unworthy in the eyes of society.
I assumed for more...
By Melodye Phillips
Being a mother is one of the greatest joys of my life. Motherhood is amazing. But motherhood is hard. All of it is hard, but in our culture one of the most difficult areas of motherhood is centered around feeding our children.
It starts from day one.
Breast feed or formula?
Purees or baby led weaning?
Homemade baby food or store bought?
Organic or non-organic?
Processed or whole?
The decisions go on and on and on (and that doesn’t even include the stress around legitimate food allergies.) So you step into an area of motherhood (like many others) that is fraught with judgment, shame, insecurity, anxiety, fear, arrogance, pride.
If we allow ourselves to step out of the frenzy of our thoughts, emotions and expectations around feeding our little ones, we give ourselves permission to become curious instead of judgmental and shameful and fearful. And then we can begin to explore the core of this chaos around food. In this...
In this month's segment for The New-Fashioned Mom, where real moms share the unfiltered truths on life, I presented on the theme of Beauty. I answered the questions:
For my full Facebook live addressing this topic, click here. I highly recommend the video. :-)
Below is an abridged transcript for the video.
Hello and welcome to Day 3 of the brand new monthly segment called, The New-Fashioned Mom, where real moms share the unfiltered truths on life. I’m grateful for the opportunity to present this month on the theme of Beauty. In this video, I’m going to share with you:
Anxiety has become a catchy buzz word these days. Everyone seems to "have anxiety." What does that even mean? Anxiety is the most common mental illness worldwide and most common in women as well. It affects more than 4 million Americans each year and often is a lifelong struggle for individuals. Given the right tools, it's also one of the easiest mental illnesses to treat... even without medication. But let's get on the same page about WHAT exactly is anxiety.
As a doctor who was trained in medical school, I think of diseases by the biopsychosocial model meaning that for any given disease, including mental illness, you look at the biological factors, the psychological factors, and the social factors.
Biologically speaking, anxiety is, first and foremost, a physical feeling within your body. According to the research of Antonio Damasio, famous neuroscientist and creator of the somatic marker hypothesis, he proved that every...